The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.
My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told the
teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of
his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The
teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I
think Harry can go to the third-grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why she asks such a question!
Harry replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: What is it that starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut.
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first. Principal was looking restless and
bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
of excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in the fifth-grade.
I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
Another joke
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose,
cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school
clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to
school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the
cleaners.
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then
drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the
checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was
already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry,
vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school
to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way
home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their
homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did
the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After
supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was
expected to make love, which he managed to get through without
complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my
wife's
being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the
way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
